Question Of The Month

I would first Pray and ask God for help with having a special time with her alone with something that she likes to do.

Children give verbal clues as you listen to them. It sounds as though she needs your time and attention alone. Even though she is the oldest, she is still a child, even at 17. Something has angered her, or hurt her and you might never get to the bottom of it until you focus on her and her alone. Every child's personality and gifting is different so to treat them all the same is wrong. Find out how she communicates and feels loved and then address her in her fashion,not yours. She will eventually open up if she knows you are trying. You are a great mom for trying to get help and keep up the great work. Blessings, Liz

Your daughter is experiencing alot of changes. First, you need to know the root of the problem. You have mentioned that she is angry but, what has caused that anger within her? That needs to be healed and sometimes all we need to do is pray but sometimes they need us to hear them out as a person. When you and her are calmer just try to listen to her. Do not interrupt her let her speak her mind and let out what she feels even if she is not totally right you are breaking a wall the enemy want to keep closed. Then after she is done speaking w/o arguing ask her can you explain where she is wrong and if in anything she says she is right tell her she is right but that what anger you was the tone in her voice, body language... when we take responsibily for what we do wrong and understand how they feel then we start building our relationship with our children. Is it easy when we have to hear our faults from our children no its not but, truth be told none of us our perfect nor come with a training manual but, we can be perfected. Maybe she was just seeking time with you alone not you and her friends. Maybe there is things she need to share with you and with teenagers is harder to grasp and understand is just a phase.

I agree with the above comment, but I would bring it in a different fashion, seems that I'm a dad, of 2 (1) Son (1) daughter. Your daughter needs you and her time, you have 5 children, and I assume she's the oldest. One day, take her out to lunch, maybe at the boat,it's nice, some where you can walk a little and maybe she'll let you know whats on her mind, let her start the conversation, listen and learn, because we never stop learning, we have to make the time to do these things, it doesn't have to be every day, but let's start with one day. Sincerely Joe Wagner.

The enemy uses all sorts of tactics to make us feel that we are not the best mothers. We are not perfect mothers, we are not supermothers, but we do care about our children. Good Job on not giving in to her tantrum.
It sounds like you have a full plate. I have been in school, worked long hours and have felt guilty about the time I have to spend with my children. I have found that including my children in many things that I do allows me time with them. Ie) I have taken them to work with me. I have taken them to meetings with me. (if appropriate) I have taken them on lunch dates with me. For 6 months, I once had to do a one weekend a month training program. I asked my mother and my sitter to rotate traveling with me, so that I would not have to leave my children. My philsophy was to not have my children say "I remember mommy being gone or leaving us alot when we were younger, but I remember going to mommy's work. we stayed at a hotel and went swimming." You perhaps could take her to class with you. ( I would let the professor know that she will be coming) This could also encourage her to follow in your footsteps of furthering her education. Also including her in your activities can show her how hard you work, study etc.. that will sometimes help put things into perspective. Maybe a committment (once a quarter) to taking just her for a couple of hours (girls manicure day). Proverbs would be a good book for her to study for wisdom.

God Bless because children don't come with instruction manuels.

Future mother of teenagers